23. college dropout in San Francisco. spend a lot of time watching TV shows and movies. used to write a lot. used to spend a lot of time seeking good music. now searching for purpose of life and is as confused as the next person.

“She locked away a secret, deep inside herself, something she once knew to be true… but chose to forget.”

5th March 2012

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truths, hearts, and lies

he didn’t lie. he never lied when he said he loved me. but it wasn’t the whole truth either, because half of his heart belonged to her.

I cried when I begged him to choose me. quoting Meredith Grey, saying “pick me, choose me, love me.” I cried when he did choose me. and I cried over and over again when he asked for some time before breaking it off with her.

he didn’t lie to me. he didn’t lie to her either. he never lied about loving either of us. he wanted a future with the both of us, two very different paths that he couldn’t choose by himself.

I cried when I thought of him, lying next to her night after night. I cried harder when I knew, because I spent night after night worrying sick that he would be left strayed somewhere remote, murdered, or hurt somehow. I cried when I realized that my instincts didn’t lie to me, when he did. he did so with passion.

he didn’t lie to me that he loved me. he just changed his mind a lot.

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